“There is immense marketing in this experience, which you go through on your wedding day, after which nothing is ever so good again.Rowan Williams (Source)

Over the coming weeks, there are going to be some very big changes to Love My Dress® – how we look, how we blog, new content, new writers joining our team, not least the imminent arrival of The Lovettes – our very first team of blogging brides.

I’ve been wanting to do so much to move Love My Dress on to the next level for a good while, but it hasn’t been the right time until now. Last year was all about losing my marbles promoting my book for months on end.  It was kind of tiring. The project overseeing these current, new changes is coming on leaps and bounds behind the scenes – I'm consumed with excitement about it.  One of the changes I’m really keen to get up and running soon is the publication of more community discussion style posts – covering everything from personal reflections, to business  and life after the wedding, as well as topical issues in the media spotlight of interest to brides. We're more than just a pretty dress you know.

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Happily Ever After Print via First Snowfall on Etsy

With this in mind, there has been one particular news story that caught my eye a couple of weeks back.  Last month, Rowan Williams, the former Archbishop of Canterbury, spoke at a debate entitled ‘Marriage: Love or Law’, where he said that the ‘marketisation of marriage’ by magazines must be curtailed and that the trend of expensive and fairytale weddings was threatening the future of marriage.  He went on to state ‘it is symbolic of our fast-paced society that favours ‘rapid gratification’ over long-term commitments, and seeks to emulate the excessive weddings of celebrities and the rich and famous, which, incidentally, rarely seem to stand the test of time.’

I was fascinated by these statements.   We all know that some folk get a wee bit obsessed with their weddings (hands up please!) and whilst I’d like to think this wouldn’t apply to our intelligent and thoughtful community of readers, I do know from first hand experience how easy it is to get caught up in the crazy carnival of wedding planning – blowing the budget and getting in to debt and going completely OTT on the detail (like the £300 I spent on glass perfume bottle wedding favours – many of which got left behind after the wedding).

We're also familiar with the concept of the 'post wedding blues' – that period immediately after the wedding where we feel an emotional flat after the high of the celebration, and a lack of weekend wedding DIY projects to keep us busy.  But don't we all get over this relatively quickly?   The wedding is supposed to represent the start of married life, not the beginning of the end, when 'nothing is ever so good again'?  Or am I being naive?

This news made me reflect as I do regularly on the role of wedding blogs and magazines, the 'marketisation of weddings' in general and how we may be contributing to the issue outlined by the Right Rev. Williams.  The popularity of wedding blogs has soared in the past 2-3 years – many brides now choose to visit a blog for wedding inspiration over spending £4-£5 on a monthly wedding magazine.  And whilst you won't have to sift through pages of expensive advertising to get to the proper content with a wedding blog – we still have to market and promote weddings to our readers – or we couldn't survive as a business.

With their support of our advertisers, we can invest in creating a better, more  useful and rewarding resource on the internet for brides seeking inspiration, support and advice.  It's the reason we now get around three quarters of a million page hits (and rising) per month.  We choose to work only with an approved team of suppliers and any marketing we do is done so in an open and transparent way (all our sponsored/paid for features are marked as such for example). We try to promote services ethically and responsibly and we trust that our readers will understand this.

Incidentally,  Rowan Williams isn't the first to have expressed concern about the cost of tieing the knot – Iain Duncan Smith also warned that the celebrity-driven trend for fairytale weddings is contributing towards family breakdown by forcing couples into debt at the start of their lives together.  I've talked openly and honestly about my own experiences with debt here.  Are we spending too much on our weddings and if so, is it because we have no choice or feel that we have to? 

I'm not saying we're part of the problem Rowan Williams refers to – it's clear to any regular reader that we're not a fan of celebrity wedding culture (I'm not a fan of celebrity culture full stop) and love that the sanctity of marriage is at the heart of what we do – but we are part of an industry that markets weddings and encourages readers to buy certain products and services.

I wonder, might it just be that we all need to take a bit more responsibility?  Are we guilty of over thinking our wedding plans and getting too involved in the show of it all?  Are we allowing ourselves to be pressured by blogs, magazines and other wedding media to create fantasy celebrations that leave us skint and miserable once the day has passed?  Are weddings being used as an excuse to pull off a big scale adventure in escapism where we can switch off the routine humdrum of normality for a little while to play princess.  Do you or did you feel pressured to create a fairytale perfect wedding?

On the contrary – why shouldn't a couple be allowed to plan a wedding just exactly how they want it, regardless of whether this might include the kind of expense and extravagance that would make The Right Revd. Williams wince?

Personally, whilst I believe it's our role to occasionally remind readers why they are getting married at all – I also subscribe to the Style Me Pretty school of thought.  Blog founder Abby Larson writes in her book Style Me Pretty Weddings 'Someone once told me that the weddings published on Style Me Pretty need to focus more on the love and less on the details of the day. To that I say…cheers.  The ceremony, the words, the love, the romance, the passion, the first kiss…these are what make the foundation for a memorable wedding.  The details – from the glitter adorned vases to the handmade cake toppers and ombre napkins – are part of the greater story…the journey to building a day that is personal and wildly unique, a celebration of two individuals and all of their quirks in one beautiful moment'. (We first linked ot this quote in our feature on 'blogggable weddings')

I'd love for you to share your thoughts below.

Love Annabel

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  • K

    Love this post – It’s something I often debated in my head during the wedding planning process. I certainly got utterly caught up in the wonderful world of weddings and had to curtail many an extravagant idea and remind myself that, REALLY, no-one is going to notice that the font of the table numbers doesn’t match that on the invitations!
    That being said, we also found it thoroughly enjoyable getting caught up and indulging ourselves for one day. It was mainly so enjoyable because we were planning a whole day to celebrate love – our love – and that was at the forefront of everything for me. Yes, I had my princess day, but the happiness of it all, surrounded by all of our favourite people and feeling their joy made THE BEST start for our married life together; I’m still reeling from it 6 months on – with a little bit of debt but no regrets – you only get to do it once in your life!

  • http://joellecharming.com Joelle Duff

    As a planner, I’m constantly conflicted with this. I absolutely HATE turning down weddings because I’m just not in their budget, but what choice do I have? This is still my job, and I really do need to make money from it.
    That being said, I’ve seen firsthand how greed and vision can taint a wedding day. Just because a wedding costs $10,000 or $100,000 doesn’t necessarily mean that a marriage is going to fail or thrive. I’d love to believe that everyone I work with is going to live happily ever after, but I’m not naive either.
    I have to agree with Abby that the details are a reflection of the wedding as a whole, but I can say that there are people who get caught up in the details and not the marriage. Instead, I’d love to see an integrated approach, where it’s all given equal weight. Unfortunately there are people out there who plan a wedding with the expectation – no DEMAND – that their wedding get published. I think that’s where the trap is. As long as everyone consistently remembers their values and reasons for getting married, the details are just fine.
    I’m actually planning on writing more about weddings from a different perspective, within the bigger picture of marriage. I guess what I’m trying to say is that materialism isn’t always a good thing, but it isn’t always the reason for a marriage’s demise either :)

  • http://www.crazyforruthie.com Ruth

    I completely get where The Right Rev. Williams is coming from. At the same time, there does have to be a recognition that pretty inspiration and aspirational images sell (and are just pleasant to look at all together) so it is hardly surprising that your blog (or any other blog or magazine) focus on such content. Is that wrong? I’d say no. I think that there does need to be a big degree of personal responsibility from those planning their wedding – yes, it is easy to get caught up in the madness, but at the same time having sensible values and an awareness of personal constraints isn’t something that reading a blog can give you. This is true in every sphere in life! Blogs/magazines can include reminders (your abandoned favours tale is one that every bride to be should note!) but at the same time should also provide fuel for the dreams – it is then up to consumers what kind of spark that ignites!

  • Sarah Lighten

    I think this discussion actually links really well to your post on “bloggable weddings”, about brides feeling pressure to make their wedding something that will get published on a blog. I think it all comes down to the person; what are their reasons for getting married, how impressionable are they, strong willed etc etc. Will the bride rush out and buy a Jenny Packham dress just because they pretty much appear on every wedding blog going? Will they adorn their venue with pom poms because it’s the decoration of choice (or not). It’s easy to get carried away, I actually found Pinterest a huge help in collating all my ideas and then refining them to create (I hope) the look I wanted for the day (7 weeks to go btw) and I’ve probably spent way to much on decoration (£41 tassel garland from the US and I’m currently making my own for £5 silly me). But the bit I look forward to the most, the part that gives me the biggest grin, is that first look with my husband to be. That moment you walk through the doors and bam! There he is, here you are and you’re about to become husband and wife surrounded by the people you love. I’ve seen plenty of marriages fail after a few months; too soon, too late, too young, but I’m sure, in fact I know they all married the person they thought they would spend the rest of their lives with.
    I prefer blogs such as LMD that represent real life, I bought a few glossies but prefer the smaller magazines that focus on the details of the day. And there’s some really really pretentious stuff out there which I am a little horrified by.
    I think every bride/couple has to take moments throughout the planning process to sit back and make sure they are still planning the day they want….that both of them want. To keep that in the back of their minds at all times and not let magazines, blogs, news articles persuade them otherwise. I agree with you that I see all mediums as a form of inspiration though I can see The Right Revs point of view, but maybe he doesn’t like the fact that couples are now choosing alternatives paths to commit to each other?

  • Kate

    Yep, all this feels very familiar! When we first got engaged I went into wedding blog overdrive and drew up a huge-mongous list of all the things I wanted at our wedding. There’s no doubt that I wanted to create a wedding as glorious as the ones I’d been poring over online. My fiance, bless him, brought me back to earth a bit. We don’t have loads of money to spare, so for us the focus will be on a small, quirky wedding that’s unique to us, rather than ticking all the boxes and fretting over every detail. Still, it’s easy to get carried away, and I am feeling the pressure. Pressure which, by the way, isn’t coming from my fiance, or family, or friends… just from me! Every now and then I pause and remind myself what getting married is all about. It’s great to read blog posts that reinforce that.

  • http://profile.typepad.com/lovemydress Love My Dress

    Thank you K,
    Haha! You are so right about those fonts! I love that you seem to have found the perfect balance of being able to indulge a little whilst retain a sensible perspective too!
    So nice to hear you are still enjoying that post wedding bubble :)
    x

  • Louise

    This is such a wonderful post – it’s very easy to lose sight of what’s important, I found myself having moments of being borderline depressed because I felt my wedding won’t be ‘perfect’, but I soon came back down to earth. I’m getting married in March and I just don’t have the money to do anything other than simple, but now that suits me just fine… all I have in my mind is that I get to marry the love of my life. My biggest spend has been my dress, which was £225 (now reduced to £75!!!!), and I’ve opted not to have flowers; I got my shoes from eBay; I’ll have family and friends help with make-up (none of them are professionals); I will rely on guests to take photos for us (again, none are professionals). It would be nice to have had a bigger budget to be able to have more details, but after all, those details won’t help us have a long, happy marriage… love does that, not money. Thank you so much for this!

  • Rachel Thompson

    Great topic! As a self confesse wannabe party planner, I’ve loved pinning madly and dreaming of different colour schemes and decorations and I check Love My Dress about three times a day in the hope of more pretty to inspire me. I’m loving the experience of indulging in one of my favourite hobbies on a massive scale! Unexpectedly, rather than the wedding planning leading me astray from what marriage is about, it’s actually teaching is some valuable lessons that I think will stand is on good stead for the first few years of our marriage – patience, compromise, budgeting, creativity and a faith that we can work through any challenge as long as we have each other! In a way this mini (ok major) project is setting us up perfectly! Add to that the marriage lessons that our church ask us to take and the fact that I wouldn’t have the energy for this super-human ‘party planning’ effort without a fierce and solid love for my fiancé and our friends and family and I feel that our wedding is actually setting us up for a successful marriage! Frankly anyone that can put up with obsessive charity shop hunting for gold candlesticks is a keeper in my book! Keep up the good work ‘love My Dress’! X

  • http://profile.typepad.com/lovemydress Love My Dress

    Hi Joelle, thank you so much for taking the time to comment – and I can completely see where you are coming from. It must be hard to turn down a lovely couple because they cannot afford your services, but by the same token, you need to pay the bills and your creativity is your expertise and this holds value.
    I have come across brides who’s major aim is to get featured or published – photographers have said the same thing to me too – their client has asked for reassurance very early on that their wedding will be submitted to a certain blog. But you make the perfect point, ‘as long as everyone consistently remembers their values and reasons for getting married, the details are just fine’.

  • http://profile.typepad.com/lovemydress Love My Dress

    Hi Ruth, thank you so much for taking time to leave a comment. I agree, the content we promote is not wrong, it’s aspirational and inspirational and as you say, here to ‘fuel dreams’. We want to lift spirits and leave a feeling of positivity and excitement with our posts! What is more encouraging than being inspired when you are planning a very important, special event like this? Take from it what you will, but be sensible XXX

  • http://profile.typepad.com/lovemydress Love My Dress

    Hi Sarah, yes it does – I actually linked to that feature in the post above, did you spot that? :)
    We try really hard to keep our readers grounded as well as inspire them. You can expect to see many more thought provoking posts in the coming months too.
    You are so right with your advice about taking a step back, and completely disengaging. I really think this is so important. You can get so caught up in the bubble.
    We’re going to be starting a series where we share posts from readers who have recently married on the blog – where they tell us what the experience is like once the wedding is over, what they might do differently as well as what worked really well for them. I hope you’ll be around to enjoy it when we launch it.
    Thanks again Sarah x

  • http://profile.typepad.com/lovemydress Love My Dress

    Hehe! And how many gold candlesticks have you got now?? I tease, but clearly you have very well grounded values Rachel, it’s so encouraging to read through your words and see you’re having fun but keeping a very healthy perspective and balance on things.

  • http://profile.typepad.com/lovemydress Love My Dress

    Every now and then I pause and remind myself what getting married is all about. It’s great to read blog posts that reinforce that.
    It is our pleasure Kate – I am so glad you found something in this post that helped to remind you to pause and remind yourself what it’s all about.
    Annabel xx

  • http://profile.typepad.com/lovemydress Love My Dress

    Hi Louise!
    It’s lovely to hear from you and read through your comments. Wow, a dress that cost £75 – that is rather amazing!!! Mine cost £2,500! I had to sell it to recoup the spend as I couldn’t really afford it. I absolutely bloody adored it though and felt incredible in it.
    I love that you are stripping it right back and doing what is within your means. Bravo to you Louise! The only advice I feel I can give, is that if you do find yourself with any spare budget – put it on a photographer. Even if they are only there for part of the day – that is not to dismiss your friends taking your photographs though – some of the BEST photos of the day end up being these ones – Franky blogged about it with this thoughtful piece here:- http://www.lovemydress.net/blog/2012/08/wedding-photography-on-facebook-and-twitter.html
    When is your wedding Louise? I’d love to hear a little about it!
    Love Annabel

  • Louise

    Hi Annabel,
    Well if I had money into the thousands my choice of dress might have been different, but I found one from Ghost, and I just fell in love with it. I see lots and lots of beautiful dresses daily – on this site, other sites, on Instagram, Facebook, in magazines, etc. – but this one is most ‘me’, so it was really quite lucky, as well as having little choice in budget.
    I think it’s worth spending more to have the perfect dress for the day, and if you sell it afterwards (which I can understand some people would not do for sentimental reasons), then someone else can enjoy it too.
    I loved the post you linked to me, it was really nice to read that – both sets of her photos were beautiful!
    As for our wedding day, having a photographer is pretty much out of my hands because my fiancé is Tunisian, and that’s where we are marrying. I agree, if we have money left over, a photographer would be the only thing I would opt for that we haven’t already – I do partly feel it’s a shame if we won’t have one, but we are having a very simple, intimate day, so we will make do the best we can.
    We’re getting married on 29th March, this year. It will be in a beautiful place called Tabarka, in Tunisia, and we are actually getting married in our home, and afterwards taking our family and friends to a restaurant by the beach for some food, drink, and dancing. Of course like any bride, I have stress about how everything will turn out, but I am certain it will be the happiest day of my life.
    Thank you again for the wonderful post, and all your other wonderful posts, too!

  • http://profile.typepad.com/msbeesy msbeesy

    As someone who is tossing up between just getting married at the courthouse and getting married with a ceremony, I like this post. For me, getting married has always been about the long haul. It has never been about the ‘wedding’. Still, the chance to enjoy a celebration with friends and family, and to participate in the traditions of marriage, is something that still appeals to me. Hence why I’m here, reading this.
    It is true that I personally would rather read blogs than Wedding magazines. I find that the average wedding magazine is mostly advertisements, and all for things which lie well outside my very budget budget. The availability of DIY and budget options online make it far more appealing for brides like me. :)

  • Lucy Birchenough

    Thanks for this article. I found it very heartening that others are concerned with this issue. Having been with my partner for 8 years already, I’m pretty confident it’s a long-term arrangement! In my case, I feel that it’s less the idea of feeling forced to spend more money than I can afford, than the risk of buying into a style of wedding which simply does not reflect the interests, characters or tastes of my fiance and myself. I live and work in London, and spend the majority of my free time exploring the city, going to galleries – basically taking advantage of all the fun things there are to do in a big city. So why on earth would I want to have a wedding in a stately home and pretend I’m a princess for a day?! It’s just not me. My ceremony is going to be in a really atmospheric venue in Peckham, followed by a meal in a restaurant we like just down the road in Bermondsey. While I haven’t consciously decided to have a ‘different’ wedding, I’m reasonably confident that the day will reflect our normal selves (which we will carry on being after the wedding!), as well as fulfilling my three main aims: 1. Be married!; 2. Have fun with my friends and family; 3. Ply said friends and family with tasty food and drink. Done!

  • Lcd

    I want to stand up for wedding blogs and wedding magazines! Nobody is forcing me to read them or sticking a gun to my head demanding I hire photo booth or raise my stationary budget (currently £0). Blogs and mags are great fun to read and provide a bit of inspiration for our big party. They have also highlighted lots of fantastic local small businesses that i am really pleased to be able to support. If the divorce rate is rising it is chuff all to do with blogging or magazines.
    Up with wedding blogs!

  • Anna

    I do really agree with Rowan Williams’ words. I got majorly stressed after getting engaged, and went on a two month binge of wedding magazines, blogs and fairs. Now, I don’t regret this, as it means I got most of my suppliers booked before Christmas at last years prices-they’ve all gone up at least a few hundred pounds this year. But I did have to stop myself over the festive period and say-am I enjoying being engaged? Do we feel closer as a couple? The answer was no, I’m too stressed out emailing and reading to concentrate on the fact a fantastic man has said he wants to be with me forever.
    Now that everything is booked, we have 7/8 months to just carry on our lives with this lovely glow of being in love, and looking forward to a day which, like you say, celebrates our individual quirks and will be the basis of our lives together. I am equally as excited to be married to him, as I am about my wedding day.
    I read Love My Dress every day or so, not to see the weddings and panic mine won’t be as good, but to see how a couple celebrate their lives together, it really is magical. But that’s because of the love, not because of the favours or bunting (however pretty!).

  • Sarah

    Great post – I am a thinker rather than a fashionista and definitely spend more time thinking about love and marriage than who made my dress, shoes and what my theme is. That is, of course, why I prefer LMD to other blog sites. That said, I am having, because my partner and I are saving like maniacs, what would be seen as a large wedding that will cost us quite a lot of money and I do resent the tone of some brides and blogs sometimes that there is an added virtue in a homespun, low budget wedding that somehow means that couple are more genuine and in love than those amongst us having the full kit and caboodle church and reception for 130 people. I think what is important is that your wedding day is a celebration of you as a couple, your love and your family and friends. Your marriage is then a commitment that springs from that celebration and will, through ups and downs, last your whole life. Do I think some people overfocus on the wedding and not the marriage? Probably. But that’s why blogs like this that discuss some of the realities of marriage are so important. x

  • http://www.dream-occasions.co.uk Bernadette

    I’m really looking forward to seeing the new look of the blog + more discussion lead topics. I do like a good discussion as you know!
    I’ve been a planner since 2002 and over the years I’ve had to help clients take a step back and think about what is important to them. Sometimes bride and grooms can get carried away booking suppliers/buying items for their wedding without really thinking do I need this?
    I remember many years ago I was hired by a couple just to help with partial planning and quickly discovered they couldn’t afford the venue they had booked. We sat down and I said starting married life in debt is not wise, we produced a budget they could afford then subsequently cancelled the first venue and rebooked a new one. Even with the loss of deposit it was thousands cheaper.
    I try to make sure my clients spend their money wisely and in the right areas. Please don’t shoot me, but I always suggest they don’t have favours as invariably they get left behind on the tables. Instead I suggest we give them something as they are leaving or a small gift in hotel rooms of out of town guests, this tends to be appreciated more.
    I wrote this on my blog recently:
    At the end of the day the most important thing about a wedding is 2 people declaring their love in front of friends and family, its about becoming husband and wife (or wife & wife / husband & husband). As a wedding planner it can be easy to get carried away with the little details: worrying about colour matching, arranging photo booths, wishing trees, candy stations and sourcing unique products. When looking through my client weddings it reminded me why I love my job immensely. It’s the look that crosses their faces when they see each other for the first time at the ceremony that brings goose bumps to my arms, watching their expressions during the speeches and seeing how they only have eyes for each other during the first dance.

  • Sarah Lighten

    I think the post wedding reads will be fascinating. Look forward to it.

  • Anna

    Oh yes I totally agree-I am not hugely creative, though I love creative things, and sometimes feel that if it’s not ‘hand made by the bride’, it’s not worthy of admiration or the bride hasn’t put any thought in! Often ‘hand made’ = far more expensive!,

  • Louise

    That’s so beautiful, Bernadette…and so true.

  • http://profile.typepad.com/lovemydress Love My Dress

    So pleased you appreciate this post msbeesy and that you are loving visiting blogs like this one so much as you plan your wedding. That’s great feedback for us – thank you.

  • http://profile.typepad.com/lovemydress Love My Dress

    Completely understand where you’re coming from Lucy, it can seem crazy that a couple would want to book that stately home and pretend to be princess – that said, I completely understand why they would want to too! I think that as long as a sensible budget is established and stuck too, and the couple are realistic about their expectations, what harm is there, but I do completely understand what you say.
    Your wedding ideas sound absolutely perfect to me and I’d love to be able to see some photographs after you’ve tied the knot. When is your wedding?
    Thank you so much for taking the time to comment X

  • http://profile.typepad.com/lovemydress Love My Dress

    I giggled out loud at this Lcd – ‘Up with the blogs!’
    AMEN TO THAT! ;)

  • http://profile.typepad.com/lovemydress Love My Dress

    I enjoying being engaged? Do we feel closer as a couple?
    This is a very excellent question that I think all brides should be encouraged to ask themselves whilst planning their wedding. I LOVE that this might remind brides, like you, that what’s really important here is that a fantastic man has asked to be with them forever! And how wonderful is that!
    It’s so easy to lose sight of it all with the mags and blogs and the pressure to get everything organised, I know, but keeping a balance by taking the opportunity to step back and get things in perspective is SO important – so thank you so much for your comment Anna, and for visiting Love My Dress too. I hope it’s bringing you much inspiration and enjoyment,
    Annabel xXx

  • http://profile.typepad.com/lovemydress Love My Dress

    First of all, thank you so much for your compliment on Love My Dress Sarah – I hugely appreciate it.
    Secondly, I *completely* get where you are coming from with your comment about how having a large wedding is frowned upon by some. As you’ll see in a previous reply I made to another comment, I think a couple should feel comfortable doing whatever the hell they want. As you say, reminding ourselves of the realities of it all throughout the planning process can only be a good thing.
    Thank you so much for taking a moment to comment.
    xXx

  • http://profile.typepad.com/lovemydress Love My Dress

    True that!

  • http://profile.typepad.com/lovemydress Love My Dress

    Thanks Bernadette, we’re very busy behind the scenes bringing it all together and can’t wait to share! Big changes that we hope our readers will love.
    I love the last paragraph of this blog and hope that as many of our readers get to see this as possible.
    xXx

  • Elizabeth Gammell

    It is really important to keep remembering what this amazing day is all about. However, hopefully, your wedding day will be one of the best and most memorable of your life. I can still mentally rerun my wedding (37 years ago) and recall immensely precious details, which have been a huge source of comfort and strength to me. I’ve since enjoyed watching two of my children get married in 2011; both weddings were the happiest of family occasions and superb celebrations. My youngest daughter gets married this summer, we are having such fun planning. I know we will again have a ‘red letter’ day and love watching two people affirm their commitment, as they begin their married life together. Wishing every engaged couple great happiness as they prepare for their weddings. xx

  • Sarah Mac

    Thanks guys! I almost feel like making some bunting just to prove my loving, committed bride credentials!

  • Shona

    I do think its incredibly important to remember what your wedding day is about- that is, making a commitment (or perhaps reaffirming an already existing commitment) to your partner in front of your friends and family, but I firmly believe that you can do this alongside the fun, the frivolity and the details side of the day, if you wish to.
    As you said Annabel, taking some care over the details, without obsessing about it or going ott, to me just shows care about a day which you want to represent you and your husband to be. Its the one day where you’re able to have it exactly as the two of you want, and to show yourselves to family and friends. It doesn’t have to be creating a fairytale or a fantasy- it can take time but it might cost nothing at all (I’m a big fan of a bit of DIY!) and it certainly doesn’t have to mean starting married life in debt.
    I love this quote and agree 100% ‘The details… are part of the greater story…the journey to building a day that is personal and wildly unique, a celebration of two individuals’
    It can be easy to become convinced that you need all the things you’ve seen in blogs, or magazines, or elsewhere, and that you need to spend 1000s of pounds to have the ‘perfect’ day, but I think the readership of LMD and the real weddings featured, suggest that we don’t all end up thinking that way and that it simply isn’t true- your wedding should be about the two of you and if that’s about extravagence and glamour then fine (as long as you can afford it!) as long as, at the end of the day, the most important thing is still, as always, the love and the people.
    I never personally felt any pressure to have the perfect fairytale wedding- I actually stressed more about making it unique and not like ;every wedding’. In the end we decided we would simply have all the things we wanted and that made us happy and it woule be what it would be, and it was just right :-)

  • http://www.lewisromane.com Lewis Romane

    Of all of the Weddings I did last year only one had a Wedding Planner and I still think most people organise the small details themselves – often dare I say it very badly, i would love to see more professional wedding planning going on as the detail is either missed or not even considered. I think trimming down the costs in other areas might give people more of a budget for Wedding Planners, but who would dare to suggest what they trim down on, the car, the dress, the shoes?!